Finding Purpose 50+
Finding purpose over 50 should not look easy. How can shrugging off a lifetime of conditioning, stepping out of multiple comfort zones, sacking off bags of self-doubt look breezy? It can’t. It isn’t. It is messy. It is full of to-ing and fro-ing. Of digging deep. Pushing forward then sinking back into the safety net.
It’s a miracle that anyone ever does it.
But we do. We do, because it’s worth it. We do, because the idea of sitting in a chair watching the robins dart about and being full of regret about all the things we simply weren’t brave enough to try is too much to bear. The idea of not giving voice to the part of us that wants to leap and sing feels too sad.
We push through because not to would be too sad.
.
Because there is only one of you in all of time
Martha Graham writes of creativity:
There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open.
The same could be said of all of life. Only you have your voice, your particular combination of habits, pleasures, quirks and curiosities. Only you can be you. So surely we all owe it to ourselves to become the most complete version of ourselves that we can be.
This process of becoming authentic does not happen overnight. It does not happen without tears, without fears, without worries, without doubt. It takes time. An un-doing. Un-becoming, to become. Because when we become fully ourselves, it is the most wonderful feeling in the world.
Curious how it feels?
This is what I felt, this last Saturday, watching people carry their Treasure Maps around Forde Park. The map, I had drawn. With so much hesitation.
I had to coach myself around the fear of it not being good enough.
I had to break my actions down into small steps
And then, I had to learn when to stop because the pull to make a load of different (perfect) versions was SO strong.
It wasn't easy. But it was SO worth it.
Because the feeling was so complete
The first one probably isn’t a real word but I figure you’ll know what I mean ….
Rightness
Belonging
Utter certainty that I am doing the RIGHT work, surrounded by the RIGHT people.
This too could happen for you. All the reasons you tell yourself that it can’t – they are just noise.
There is always a way. It may not be simple. It will definitely require changes. It will probably not be easy. But my goodness, it will be worth it.
This sense of being totally in my boots is not one I take for granted. It is what I would wish for everyone though. To know how it feels to be doing work you love, living a life you don’t dream of escaping from.
I spent a long time not knowing. It doesn’t matter how long we spend not knowing. Not being kind to ourselves.
It is never to late to start again.
It begins by deciding. You get to choose.
You get to choose.
You get to be fully you.
If you want some company, someone to help you figure out your next steps, give me a shout.
I love working 1:1 with people and I love running retreat days. The next one is on July 17th, in Newton Abbot, Devon. Creativity for Wellbeing meets nature practice and mindfulness. Click through to read more. It would be wonderful to see you there.
