Understanding ADHD burnout
It’s Sunday morning. Understanding ADHD burnout wasn’t on my joy-list for the weekend … But here I am, sat explaining to Nicky’s lovely son and his equally lovely girlfriend why I keep on disappearing. Why, for the past few weeks, I’ve barely managed to say hello when they arrive. Why they see me taking a little plate of bread and cheese downstairs for supper instead of joining them for what smells like a delicious lasagne.
Luckily, they get it.
ADHD shutdown is no joke. I explain how busy day stacks on busy day. Multiple conversations and multiple projects compete for headspace. I keep it all spinning, adrenaline pushing me to finish ‘one more thing’, closing one more loop. I push and push.There is a backlog of unprocessed conversation and half-finished tasks. The spinning plates judder. And then, I crash.
All I want in that moment is to disappear
I am physically present but the inside of my head feels like an over-stuffed airing cupboard. Nicky asks me a simple question and all I want to do is cry. No words left. No capacity to listen. Other people’s noises are amplified to almost unbearable levels.
I cannot think one more thought. Disappearing feels like the only option.
It is literally like I’ve run down my battery and need to shut down completely in order to replenish. I’m asleep by 7:30. The following day; restored.
It used to be much worse. I would get into my head. Get down on myself for no coping better. Thankfully, these days, the bounce back is much quicker.
I’ve learned how to stop fighting the feeling. To stop wishing that I was different. Better. Easier. Radical Acceptance has a lot going for it. (Thank you Tara Brach for talking me through the trickier times).
If you’re curious about neurodiversity, take a look at Exceptional Individuals – they have a load of quizzes and resource to explore.
Getting a diagnosis has helped me enormously. I can look back through the years at the many situations I’ve found challenging, and understand myself with far more kindness and compassion. And the more of that we have, the better everything becomes eh.
Curious about getting a diagnosis?
- Get in touch with your GP
- Explain your symptoms
- Ask to be referred via Right To Choose
- Your GP should then give you the option of connecting with a private Assessor.
- This should not mean that you will then have to pay for any medication (if you decide to go down that route).
- Your medication assessment will be carried out by the assessment clinic (eventually) but the prescriptions will be managed by your GP as usual.
- This is different to ‘going private’!
Hearing other people talk helps me understand myself
